Thrivers and survivors on the changemaking marathon
One of the most over- looked aspects of impact-first work is that it’s like a marathon, not a sprint. No social problem will be ‘solved’ in a couple of years or with a quick fix; you must prepare for the long run. So many talented and committed people abandon the race because they aren’t properly prepared for it; others keep running but stop enjoying it, just thinking about the finish line. And yet there are others who seem to be able to run one mara thon after another.
When we consulted with global experts while building the Amani
Institute curriculum, many confessed that their
organizations had become a burden, diminishing both their happiness and their
impact. Many got divorced because of their work; others no longer believed the
world could become a better place. These stories got me wondering why some
changemakers feel exhausted and always on the verge of physical and mental
exhaustion, while others seem hopeful and happy with their lives. A few years
ago, I (Ilaina) pursued a master’s in Applied Positive Psychology at the
University of Pennsylvania to try and understand this. Based on my research,
we designed a dashboard to help people navigate the twists and turns of this
marathon journey of changemaking, survive the bumps in the road, and enjoy the
beautiful vistas they will pass along the way. In other words, to sustain
themselves and their impact across decades. We need thriving changemakers over
the long haul, not social impact martyrs.
The dashboard has eight variables that spread across a continuum. Depending on
your response (a definite yes or a definite no) to the question each variable
poses, you might find yourself closer to the extreme right — thriver — or
closer to the extreme left — survivor.
Thrivers believe their work is worth pursuing because they are making a
difference in people’s lives. People who work from a sense of purpose, as
thrivers do, tend to be more productive, committed, motivated and efficient;
have more positive relationships; and above all, are happier. On the other hand,
survivors may be deeply committed to their cause (or not) but can’t seem to find
happiness. They enter a vicious cycle where they experience negative job
satisfaction and performance, and see declines even in their overall life
satisfaction, but still don’t quit their jobs. Survivors experience more
negative than positive outcomes from their social impact work.
Prevention being better than the cure, it’s wise to consider this issue from the
beginning and not when you’re burning out.
Dashboard for your inner journey
The first question to answer is: Are you intrinsically motivated? In
general, changemakers act because they feel a deep connection with humanity
and/or the planet and want to do something to improve the status quo. They
recognize that their motivation isn’t primarily linked to money or status, but
to living out their calling. Impact-first professionals are internally – or
intrinsically - driven. When someone is intrinsically motivated, they come
closer to reaching their potential and being happy with their work and their
lives.
However, sometimes we think we’re acting from intrinsic motivation but are
either not identifying our motivation accurately or masking our true
motivations. The most common ways this happens in impact-first work are the
motivations to avoid guilt, feed our ego through external recognition, and heal
our own wounds. This is a trap you should avoid.
Feelings of guilt due to our privilege is something we’ve heard repeatedly over
the years. Privilege isn’t just about economic status but also comes from
educational backgrounds, skin color, gender, the loving family we had, or even
unfavorable life events or circumstances that allowed us to learn and grow
rather than falling apart. We’re born with some of these privileges, and you
cannot escape a privilege once you have it. No matter how much someone tries to
deny their past, or donate their inherited wealth, the privilege remains. What
you can decide is how to relate to your privilege.
Some changemakers feel guilty, even ashamed that they ‘have so much;’ and often
this drives their motivation to act. While that motivation may be
well-intentioned, acting from guilt can have negative consequences down the
road. For instance, the changemaker unintentionally begins to behave in a
paternalistic way, since he or she is also working to relieve their own feelings
of guilt and shame. They start to imagine they are acting for or acting on
behalf of instead of the more effective acting with. As a famous quote
sometimes attributed to Lilla Watson goes, “If you have come to help me, you
are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up
with mine, then let us work together.”
It’s very common for people to drift from their intrinsic motives and start
being driven by salary increases, climbing the title hierarchy, appearances in
the press, summing up the funds they have raised, awards they have won, their
likes and followers on social media, and even tracking obsessively the number of
people they’ve impacted. Those types of numbers may be good indicators or goals,
but they shouldn’t be the real drivers of our actions — the reason we wake up
every morning to work — or it will start to feel stale after a while.
A traumatic event or psychological ‘wound’ can also confuse our intrinsic
motivation. Geraldine Hepp, a founding staff member of Amani Institute,
describes what’s called the ‘wound-gift concept,’ in which someone decides to
work on a social problem because they have suffered themselves from that
problem; sometimes, perhaps without noticing, what they’re really trying to do
is to heal themselves. Most social entrepreneurs have a personal story linked to
the challenge they are facing. This is not wrong; it’s often very helpful to be
personally affected by your cause. However, when we act from the wound itself,
then emotions like sadness, anger, and hate will drive our actions.
Understanding our intrinsic motivation means asking specific, not generic,
questions. A generic question would be: Why do you wish to work in education or
to prevent malaria? A generic answer — ‘because malaria is bad’ or ‘children
should be in school’ — obscures a proper understanding of your convictions. You
need to dig deeply for clarity of purpose.
Finally, if you can’t connect with the people around you, it doesn’t matter how
much impact you strive for. It’s critical to connect authentically with others,
even if only for a few seconds. Jane Dutton of the University of
Michigan
calls
these ‘high-quality connections’ — daily interactions that may seem small and
insignificant, but are marked by mindfulness, positive mutual consideration,
trust, and active participation on both sides.
In a high-quality connection, people are more open to learning and have better
cognitive functioning, creativity, commitment; and, above all, health and
happiness. It’s easy to focus on the desired impact and forget that much of the
motivation we need comes from making high-quality connections on a daily basis.
Most leading changemakers accept that they will sacrifice time with their
families and financial rewards to realize their impact. This brings us to
another variable: Are you explicitly choosing the life you lead? Sacrifice
is neither bad nor good. The important thing is whether the sacrifice is
consciously or resentfully made. Common phrases such as, ‘I have to work this
weekend because there is a deadline on Monday,’ or, ‘I can’t take a vacation
when there are people who need my support,’ or, ‘I must go to this meeting even
though I’m sick because it’s a unique opportunity,’ demonstrate an admirable
sense of duty. However, it would be very different to say, ‘I choose to work
this weekend because the deadline is Monday,’ ‘I don’t want to go on vacation
when there are people who need my support,’ or ‘I want to go to this meeting
no matter how sick I am, because it is a unique opportunity.’
The difference between the two types of statements reflects one’s level of
autonomy — a major driver of life satisfaction. When you have to do something,
it’s often because you think something is expected of you — and you lose
autonomy. When we speak of ‘wanting to’ instead of ‘having to,’ our sense of
autonomy is restored. And there’s always the possibility to choose our path,
even in the worst circumstances. When you consciously choose to sacrifice your
weekend, you start enjoying the process itself. ‘Working on a weekend’ thus
becomes a ‘day without distractions.’
But note that we are neither advocating for nor against working over the
weekend. We just want you to consciously choose your life’s path and accept the
consequences. It’s about asking, Are you living an integrated life? Talking
of a ‘work-life balance’ implies a trade-off or a zero-sum game, as if life does
not include work. Many changemakers feel a need to choose between ‘my family
versus my mission’ or ‘a meaningful job versus financial well-being.’ When you
fall into this kind of binary thinking, life gets more stressful. You begin to
feel guilty, that what you do is never enough, that you’re always missing out on
important events. You feel off-balance. On the other hand, if you reframe it as
work-life integration, then there’s no false dichotomy — your work and
personal life are complementary, not competing, priorities.
Stewart Friedman, professor at the University of Pennsylvania, has
found
that successful people integrate the different spheres of their life: self,
home, work, and community. In other words, your work is part of your life and
thus must be integrated, not separated. It also means that if all you do is
work, without looking at other spheres of life, things go awry.
For instance, if you neglect your health because you’re too busy at work, the
resulting negative health outcomes will reduce your productivity. Once you
understand that it’s both possible and necessary to integrate different spheres
of your life, then you see how things like spending time with your family or
practicing your hobbies ultimately also enriches your social impact.”
It’s also important to ask, Are you aware of what you can and cannot
change? Thriving changemakers are clear where the limits are of what they
are trying to achieve, and where they can be most effective and impactful. They
know where their circles of control and circles of influence start and end. They
understand that theirs is a part of the contribution of a larger group of
people, all striving for the same goal in different ways. When you take on
unlimited responsibility, like ‘fighting poverty,’ you’re up against a seemingly
immovable system. Your motivation decreases and your frustration increases. Your
resources to change the world are limited; therefore, it’s wise to establish
goals that are challenging but doable. Don’t try to do it all!”
Empathy is almost an inherent attribute of changemakers. However, you need to
manage it carefully, which is another variable in the dashboard: Can you
retain but not become overwhelmed by your empathy? According to Paul
Bloom, professor of psychology and cognitive science at Yale, there are
many definitions of empathy, so he distinguishes between two main
terms:
sympathy and compassion. He defines sympathy as ‘the ability to put yourself in
the other’s shoes and feel what you think they are feeling’; whereas compassion
is the ‘ability to care about others’ well-being, but without necessarily
feeling their pain.’ It’s very common for changemakers to be moved by the
context that surrounds them, which usually means the presence of people in
distress. Those who feel the pain of others for a long time may come to suffer
from empathy fatigue, a gradual decrease in compassion over time, which makes
them lose hope and motivation with regard to the cause they’ve been fighting
for.
Furthermore, an excess of sympathy can lead to decision-making guided only by
strong emotions and not rationality, even decisions that may be morally wrong.
By setting limits on our empathy, we are better able to critically analyze
situations and solve problems more efficiently.
Another question to ask yourself: Are you taking care of yourself as much as
you take care of others?
Although most changemakers recognize the risk of burnout, they aren’t always
great at taking care of themselves. By contrast, thriving changemakers
prioritize both themselves and the other. They understand there’s an
interdependent relationship between themselves and others, so the best thing
they can do for their long-term impact is to preserve themselves. Changemakers
also often de-prioritize themselves financially. Many take huge financial risks
that eventually force them to ‘drop out’ of the marathon because they can no
longer sustain their family. It’s vital to make an income that allows for a
decent life. Otherwise, you’ll always worry about money, taking your focus away
from the impact.
Beyond finances, prioritizing both yourself and the other also means taking
breaks for rest, setting limits on your availabil- ity, and spending time with
loved ones without feeling guilty. Changemakers need to understand the close
relationship of self-care with social impact.
Now that you know an impact-first career is akin to a marathon, what concerns
you about your “fitness” for such a career? How can you improve your ability to
sustain an impact-first career over the long haul, knowing there’ll be a deep
fulfillment from the impact you create?
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Roshan Paul is a co-founder of the Amani Institute and co-author of The New Reason to Work: How to Build a Career That Will Change the World (2021). Prior to Amani Institute, Roshan worked with Ashoka for a decade, where he designed and launched programs that supported over 500 social entrepreneurs (Ashoka Fellows) around the world. Raised in Bangalore, India, Roshan has a master’s in Public Policy from the Harvard Kennedy School and a bachelor’s in International Political Economy from Davidson College.
Roshan currently serves on the Board or Advisory Council of several innovative educational organizations in the USA, Netherlands and India. He served a term on the World Economic Forum Global Future Council on Behavioral Science (2016–2018), was awarded a Leadership in Education award by the World Education Congress in 2017, named one of the Asia Society’s “Asia 21 Young Leaders” in 2018, and designated a BMW Foundation “Responsible Leader” in 2019.
Ilaina Rabbat is co-founder of the Amani Institute and co-author of The New Reason to Work: How to Build a Career That Will Change the World (Lioncrest, 2021). Prior to Amani Institute, Ilaina worked toward social change across the Americas and Europe for more than a decade, supporting individuals and organizations to increase their impact. Ilaina also worked at Ashoka as director of a youth program in Argentina, as global campaigns manager in the US headquarters, as leader of Ashoka’s expansion into Central America, and finally helped build the youth ecosystem in Kenya.
Currently, Ilaina is an advisory board member of Coca-Cola Institute (Brazil), The Bio-Leadership Project (UK), Recipes for Wellbeing (Global), the School of Future (India), and Universidad Camilo José Cela (Spain). She is a certified executive coach by the International Coaching Federation.
Published Mar 18, 2022 2pm EDT / 11am PDT / 6pm GMT / 7pm CET