This month — amid the onslaught of ads for flowers, jewelry and other Mother’s
Day gifts — an unexpected email might also hit your inbox: an offer to opt
out.
That might seem like counterintuitive marketing around a holiday that involves
more than $28
billion
in consumer spending. Yet, it is part of a fledgling but growing Thoughtful
Marketing Movement, started in 2019 by
UK-based flower shop Bloom & Wild. The company noticed something that is all
too evident to millions of people: Sometimes, Mother’s Day — and any number of
other marketing holidays celebrating relationships — can hurt.
While corporate promotions are carefully designed and beta-tested to evoke
strong feeling, for many people that emotion is the sucker-punch of grief. When
you've experienced the death of someone in your life, ads like these can catch
you off guard and serve as a painful reminder of all you have lost:
“Give Mom the love she gave you!” (I can’t, because she’s dead.)
“Your partner will love these Valentine's gifts!” (I'm sure she would; but we're divorced.)
“The perfect Father's Day gifts to say thank you!” (It’s too late now, isn’t it?)
Simply checking your social feed or opening your email can unleash a barrage of
unwanted feelings. In an era of empathy, this kind of corporate communication
ignores the experience of millions of bereaved families — something that seems
particularly tone deaf as countless people are still reeling from losses from
the pandemic.
These ads can make vulnerable, grieving people feel alone — marginalized by the
culture around them. That’s hard enough for an adult; but consider that one in
five children has experienced the death of someone significant in their lives,
and 5.6 million have dealt with the death of a parent or sibling. Mother’s Day
and Father’s Day land differently for them, every day.
“Their experience isn’t just a personal tragedy,” said Brie Overton, a
bereavement expert and clinical director at Experience
Camps — a nonprofit that champions the nation’s
grieving children. “Research shows that unaddressed grief is an urgent public
health issue, one that can have significant long-term impacts on both mental
health and physical wellbeing. Bereaved children are far more likely to be at
risk for mental health challenges, academic decline, substance misuse, and even
early death.”
This is a complex issue — one that deserves more focus and funding. Yet,
enabling people to opt out of certain marketing messages is a small but
significant step that companies can take to help.
It's actually quite simple. Companies can send an email or post a link on social
that allows people to opt out of certain holiday communications. This simple,
powerful action can show that a company truly cares for its customers, not just
their wallets.
Forward-thinking retailers including Away, Etsy, Milk Bar and
Pandora have already invited people to opt out of ads with Mother’s Day
messages. Importantly, this doesn’t mean the marketing stops. People who opt out
still receive brand communications; those messages are just a bit more
personalized since they omit the reference to a painful holiday.
The response has been overwhelmingly positive. These leading brands have gotten
customer love, broad organic amplification on social, and glowing media
coverage.
Even people who don’t want to opt out appreciate the brands’ humanity. And,
while this trend might be amplified by the pandemic, its impact goes far beyond
those who have experienced a death. People can find holidays hard for a range of
reasons: infertility, fraught relationships, difficult memories. The list goes
on.
Hopefully, we’ll soon see opt-outs for Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, even
pet-related communications — with the potential to opt back in should someone’s
feelings or life circumstances shift. Holidays and observances give brands a
special chance to make a connection bigger than the product they’re trying to
sell — and the idea is catching on.
So far, more than 150 companies have already joined the Thoughtful Marketing
Movement, and with good reason. Today, customers expect companies to know them
and see them as a whole person. By offering them a way to engage that also sees
their grief, companies can set themselves apart and create the more authentic
connections they seek.
This kind of brand leadership can have ripple effects. It got more people
talking about grief and even sparked a
discussion
in the UK Parliament: MP Mark Warman shared his
experiences
with grief, in remarks that may be unusually personal for most Parliamentary
proceedings but that exemplify the kind of honest grief leadership we need now.
We need more leadership like this. Action from 150 brands is a great start, but
it’s not enough. Now, we’re acting on what we have heard during more than
520,000 hours with grieving youth, and inviting companies
to
#OfferOptOut. This
is a real opportunity for authentic brands to help shine a light on grief, and
make millions of grievers feel seen and supported.
We applaud those who have already stepped up to accelerate this positive trend.
We also look forward to hearing about even more companies lending their voice to
shine a light on the issue of grief, adopt more grief-smart practices, and show
millions of people that they are not alone.
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Jesse Moss is the Senior Marketing Manager at Experience Camps, a nonprofit that champions the nation’s 5.6 million grieving children and works to create a more “grief smart” culture. Drawing on her experience as a Digital Strategist in the Obama Administration, she also oversees the nonprofit’s fast-growing TikTok channel — reaching millions with humor, empathy and joy as well as grief.
Published May 6, 2022 8am EDT / 5am PDT / 1pm BST / 2pm CEST